She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
