I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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