Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
