RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
