I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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