It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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