Small penises have feelings too.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
