he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
