idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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