literally had 100 drinks last night.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
