Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
