She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
