Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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