I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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