I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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