its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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