I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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