smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
