you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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