So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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