I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I fill condoms, not promises.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
