I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
