In the future we'll all be gay
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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