She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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