we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
