Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
