New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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