You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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