so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
