I'm eating all of the evidence.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
