You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
