I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize