last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
