woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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