He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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