I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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