sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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