it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
