I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize