My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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