Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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