Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
