I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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