he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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