I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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