let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
