if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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