Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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