I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
