Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
