Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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