Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
