I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
