I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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