How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The maid of honor just puked.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
