I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
