Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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