I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
