I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
