She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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