Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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