I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
